Okay, let's see... this is a very touchy subject and I can only speak for myself so this is my disclaimer, I do not represent Womankind... I personally don't have a problem with someone I'm with being friends with an "ex" the problem probably arises when the depth of the friendship cannot be defined. I as your woman should not feel threatened in any manner, if you guys are truly just friends then we should all be friends... the problems usually come about when she is just your friend and not our friend ;-) XOXO, Nay P.S. and Naw bruh you cant be friends with all the "exes"
It depends on what the connection he has with his ex. If they connect on a deep mental level then he is going to feel comfortable divulging everything that's going on in our relationship to her.I personally wouldn't talk to some other man, about MY man and whats going on in our relationship. A mental connection with someone will always be stronger than a physically connection. And that connection will stand the test of time.
LOL @ Nay I agree. Of course anything is possible but there's a difference between keeping in touch and being friends. Checking in on your ex every once in a while to see if she's alive isn't too bad but. Unless you have children with someone, I really don't see the need to maintain a relationship with them. Like Nay said she shouldn't feel threatened by your ex for any reason. If she does then you know exactly what needs to be done. It's all about making your partner happy.
What a tricky question. I personally have been only able to be friends with one of my X's. Once i felt the reason was is that they have ended very hostile or painful, so why revisit that painful place. Then over time wounds heal and you appreciate the friendship and the caring that you got from an X. If a girlfriend was still friends with an X i didn't get jealous or possessive as long as there was not constant contact. i feel its insecure to demand that your significant other erase all memories of there last or prior relationship. If you have children with a person you would expect the other parent to always be in the picture. It is hard to expect the person you date or love to give up what once was. You hope that they have moved on from the feelings and emotional value in their past relationship and can be monogamous with you, and still have friends. Even if these friends comprise X lovers. Now im not talking about the ones that come out the wood-works during the holidays or when their current relationship is going bad and they want something better like they had in the past.
I will admit it seems weird sometimes when X's are friends because you wonder what went wrong and why are we not together now. But the best bet i find is too move on and too not stay intimate friends, the holiday text and birthday text should suffice.
I can understand why a woman would have a problem with the man she's with being friends with his ex. It is way to easy for him to slip and fall into some mistakes with someone he has a history with. As a matter of fact it's not just a woman problem. Any man who says he doesn't care if his girl remains friends with her ex is lying to himself.
@ Nay, I say AMEN! I always say that women are their own worst enemy. Yes, I am a woman but am not a fan of women and I know our capabilites all too well. It depends on the situation to me. Especially on the terms of the break up. I would have no issues if MY man was cool with an ex, (NOT BFF, daily or weekly cool)but here and there. To me the significant problem in him being friends with his ex is not so much him but her. Women can be very manipulative, disrespectful, destructive and conniving people. Unless their ex was garbage and they ended the relationship, they always tend to want to hold on with alterior motives and strike when its convenient to them.
Am sorry but from my experiences, that friends with the ex is OVERRATED. I think for that to truly work this female ex has to know and respect boundaries. It's all about knowing the role and STAYING in your lane.
Okay, let's see... this is a very touchy subject and I can only speak for myself so this is my disclaimer, I do not represent Womankind... I personally don't have a problem with someone I'm with being friends with an "ex" the problem probably arises when the depth of the friendship cannot be defined. I as your woman should not feel threatened in any manner, if you guys are truly just friends then we should all be friends... the problems usually come about when she is just your friend and not our friend ;-)
ReplyDeleteXOXO,
Nay
P.S. and Naw bruh you cant be friends with all the "exes"
It depends on what the connection he has with his ex. If they connect on a deep mental level then he is going to feel comfortable divulging everything that's going on in our relationship to her.I personally wouldn't talk to some other man, about MY man and whats going on in our relationship. A mental connection with someone will always be stronger than a physically connection. And that connection will stand the test of time.
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Nay
ReplyDeleteI agree. Of course anything is possible but there's a difference between keeping in touch and being friends. Checking in on your ex every once in a while to see if she's alive isn't too bad but. Unless you have children with someone, I really don't see the need to maintain a relationship with them. Like Nay said she shouldn't feel threatened by your ex for any reason. If she does then you know exactly what needs to be done. It's all about making your partner happy.
@ Danielle
ReplyDeleteI'm all for mental connections LOL but if it's causing a problem in his current relationship then he needs to fall back a little.
Oh and Thanks for the comment : ). You stuck with us now LOL @ Danielle
ReplyDeleteWhat a tricky question. I personally have been only able to be friends with one of my X's. Once i felt the reason was is that they have ended very hostile or painful, so why revisit that painful place. Then over time wounds heal and you appreciate the friendship and the caring that you got from an X. If a girlfriend was still friends with an X i didn't get jealous or possessive as long as there was not constant contact. i feel its insecure to demand that your significant other erase all memories of there last or prior relationship. If you have children with a person you would expect the other parent to always be in the picture. It is hard to expect the person you date or love to give up what once was. You hope that they have moved on from the feelings and emotional value in their past relationship and can be monogamous with you, and still have friends. Even if these friends comprise X lovers. Now im not talking about the ones that come out the wood-works during the holidays or when their current relationship is going bad and they want something better like they had in the past.
ReplyDeleteI will admit it seems weird sometimes when X's are friends because you wonder what went wrong and why are we not together now. But the best bet i find is too move on and too not stay intimate friends, the holiday text and birthday text should suffice.
I can understand why a woman would have a problem with the man she's with being friends with his ex. It is way to easy for him to slip and fall into some mistakes with someone he has a history with. As a matter of fact it's not just a woman problem. Any man who says he doesn't care if his girl remains friends with her ex is lying to himself.
ReplyDeleteWell, well, WELL!!!!! hummmmmmm what a question.
ReplyDelete@ Nay, I say AMEN! I always say that women are their own worst enemy. Yes, I am a woman but am not a fan of women and I know our capabilites all too well. It depends on the situation to me. Especially on the terms of the break up. I would have no issues if MY man was cool with an ex, (NOT BFF, daily or weekly cool)but here and there. To me the significant problem in him being friends with his ex is not so much him but her. Women can be very manipulative, disrespectful, destructive and conniving people. Unless their ex was garbage and they ended the relationship, they always tend to want to hold on with alterior motives and strike when its convenient to them.
Am sorry but from my experiences, that friends with the ex is OVERRATED. I think for that to truly work this female ex has to know and respect boundaries. It's all about knowing the role and STAYING in your lane.
@ Mz Tee
ReplyDeleteYes! Not too many people know how to stay in their lane.
@Kevin, I agree with you! @Oufancy, you see I came back!!lol
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Danielle told you!
ReplyDelete